All of the Conker MP achievements are simple, but here are some guidelines for those curious.
- It doesn't matter if you win or lose, but it will not work if you start and quit a game.
- A second player or controller is not required.
- For a quick win/lose simply go into set-up and change the score limit to 1.
- For the fastest results in Deathmatch, set lives to 1 and choose Total War map.
You can use cn_RS to pull out a grenade and kill yourself for an easy finish. Failing that, you can run forward and up the left ramp, turn right and run into the pit at the end of a short hallway. Achievement earned in under a minute.