Batman v Superman: Afteraction Report (And screw it, I will post spoilers to discuss)

The family went and saw it over the holiday weekend, on a spur of the moment decision, on Saturday night, and great seats (most seats) were available.

First, let me say, the movie could have been much worse, much worse, than it was. So, was it good? No, absolutely not. But, it was far from the worst superhero movie, ever.

What it is, is a jumbled, hot mess of a film that has no idea what it wants to be, what it wants to accomplish, and where it wants to go, except for one thing. It wants to be the entire Marvel Phase I, in one movie. It want to accomplish in 2.5 hours, what Marvel did in Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, and The Avengers. It wants to setup a supermassive, crossover universe or interconnected films. It kind of does that. Otherwise, it is a Batman movie starring Superman characters. Other than Batman/Bruce Wayne and Alfred, all the players in the film are Superman characters, and Wonder Woman. But, it is a Batman movie. Also, Ben Afleck's Batman and Bruce Wayne are weird, but not because of Afleck, because someone thought a xenophobic Batman was a good idea.

Basically, the film is a highlight version of The Dark Knight Returns (the classic mini-series by Frank Miller) and the Doomsday crossover event from the 90s and an original script, with a bit of "DC Universe Key Points" sprinkled in. But, really, just highlights. If you are familiar with any of that, don't expect too much. Really just think fight, power armor, costume, Doomsday monster, etc type highlights.

Wonder Woman is fantastic, for the 5-10 minutes you get of her. Hopefully, the saving grace of this movie is you get a great, female-lead, superhero film. That would (likely) be a major first. (Maybe there was one I don't remember...)

There was actually only one "surprise" in the movie, the trailers gave away jut about everything, so, I will leave one "surprise" as a surprise, but be warned, SPOILERS below:

Film starts with the Man of Steel Metropolis battle from Bruce Wayne's point of view. "OMG! ALIENS! They are destroying our world, and they are both evil!" (Never mind that one is actively fighting against his own people to protect the humans...) Basically, since one alien is bad, and wanted to conquer, all of them do and/or will... (From a guy that dresses up as a monster to scare bad people, because some people are good and some are bad. But, whatever...)

18 months later, some people love Superman. Some people hate Superman. Basically, if the alien attack hurt you, it is Superman's fault, and he needs to be put down. Yep, that's the extent of it.

Lois Lane goes to interview a terrorist overseas, but someone uses it as an opportunity to put her in danger, lure Superman there to save her, and take out the terrorists, which leads to someone attacking a village and killing innocents. This is Superman's fault, and a committee in the US Congress is discussing what to do. (No information left out there, that is just how clear it is).

Batman broods. What is Superman's secret? Dream sequence. Dream sequence in a dream sequence. Flash from the future, but he's there at the wrong time, oh wait, another dream sequence...

Superman doesn't understand the bat, so, STAWP!

Someone bombs Congress, and Superman doesn't stop it. "ZOMG! WAS HE COMPLICIT WITH IT?!?!? SUPERMAN IS BAD! DEATH TO SUPERMAN!"

Lex figures out who Clark is, kidnap Martha Kent, kidnap Lois Lane, throw Lois off building, Superman saves her. OH NO! Martha is a hostage!

"Kill the bat, or Marta dies."

FIGHT!!!

Power armor, kryptonite weapons, kryptonite mist, Bat is winning.

"Martha, you're killing Martha." "WHA!?!?!? ow do you know my mom's name?" "That my mom's name, too."

"Oh sweet, we are friends now!!! I'll save your mom, you go get Lex! Another Martha won't die tonight!"

Fight with Lex... No, DOOMSDAY!!!

Fight, fight, batwing smooshed, Doomsday to kill the Bat? Nope, WONDER WOMAN!

Fight, fight, Superman takes a break to save Lois, again.

Fight, fight...

"Surprise"

Epilogue

Bat visits Lex in prison. "It's too late, they're coming. They all know. The Stars, they're coming from the star."

Credits (No post or during credits scenes, you may leave)

There is a 5 minute scene, where Bruce Wayne views video files of The Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg, as well as see a picture of Wonder Woman from 1918 and 2015... WHAT? She's over 100 years old, and hasn't aged? What is she? (But with curiosity, not hate and fear. I guess fairly attractive female oddities are better than aliens?)

That's it. My kid (12) didn't really like it. My wife (a geek, but not for comics) didn't like it. I (a geek, especially for comic stuff) didn't really like it. I am sure there is a subset of the population that will like it, but, I am not sure it is an easily identified subset. It is X-men 3, Spider-man 3, Superman 4 level of bad. It is like the recent Fantastic Four film, it seems to be made by a team that just wasn't sure what they were making.

(I heard it described by one friend as a "Self-aware dumpster fire" and that could pretty accurate...)

Don't let my review be your opinion, don't let any review be your opinion. If you are interested in seeing it, go see it. Come here, let's talk about it.

I WAS impressed with the "surprise" as I did not expect them to stick to their guns there. Let's see how it goes, I am curious.

I'm sitting on the sidelines here. Curious to see a movie panned a lot, but a ton of people still went to see it. Will be interesting to see what next week's numbers are. I'm just not sure if they've figured out how to make DC into what they've done with the Marvel universe.

I would personally welcome development of other characters besides Batman and Superman... I feel the same about Spiderman and the Hulk to be fair.

I mean, Aquaman, he never gets a fair shake...

I mean, Aquaman, he never gets a fair shake...

Originally Posted by Fshguy

And don't forget the ever popular "Man from Atlantis"



Be sure to watch this about 1 minute in... It really looks like Roy Scheider to me...

I'll avoid it thanks to this one review. I ain't got time for meh.

I saw this movie with my girlfriend on Saturday and I agree with futiles 100%. I realize that the Batman character in the movie was based on the Dark Knight Returns and that they've said repreatedly that the Zach Snyder DC universe is going to be dark, but damn; I thought I was watching the Punisher a few times there.

http://io9.gizmodo.com/batman-v-supe...ice-1767720335

I love this so much.

http://io9.gizmodo.com/batman-v-supe...ice-1767720335

I love this so much.

Originally Posted by Dacoto

That is pretty spot on...

http://io9.gizmodo.com/batman-v-supe...ice-1767720335

I love this so much.

Originally Posted by Dacoto

That was amazing!

Watching this movie I could help substituting Dr. Manhattan for Superman and Nite Owl for Batman because they acted more like their Watchmen counterparts then themselves in this movie.

In the end, I'm look forward to Wonder Woman and Suicide Squad movies.

Fingers crossed, I hope the villain for Suicide Squad is Brimstone.

Is is appropriate for a nine-year-old who's already seen all the Marvel stuff? He also loved Mad Max FR...

Is is appropriate for a nine-year-old who's already seen all the Marvel stuff? He also loved Mad Max FR...

Originally Posted by porschephiliac

Based on the "review" that Dacoto posted, I'm not quite sure it is... I haven't seen Mad Max, so can't say....

This movie wasn't as bad a Superman 4.. that's just taking it a little too far.. but ok, The movie was little too dark and they blend too many story lines in a way that they should not have and that article that has been so prominently linked too by a few of you here is a great read and after I read that it helped me to really not like this movie very much more.

Look at it three ways: One go in thinking you know nothing of the comics or history like you have never read or seen another Batman or Superman comic, movie, cartoon or anything.. go in just knowing the toys or like a 4 year old..

Two: Go in like a total nerd that you know everything and hate every minute and complain that you wasted your money.

Three: Go in like the fan boys that have never read a comic but have watched movies or scene a cartoon or three and know everything there is to know because of these new "movies" and be slightly confused at some of the plot but be blown away by the great fight and set up for new movies!!

Yes predominantly this is a Batman movie and yes I think Ben Affleck did better job of being a Batman than a Daredevil and definitely yes, Wonder Woman was the saving grace of this movie. I blame the Writers for this movies travesties, yes all of them the big Hollywood writers and the DC comic writers that allowed them to get away with this.

It is a dark and slow moving movie that switches willy nilly between plot lines..it give us things that we already knew Batman's origin and the plot of The Man of Steel. It also dumps a lot of other information that is going to make people speculate on. Just don't go in expecting a MARVEL type movie. It's a big ball of confusion. What does Batman murder people? Why did Bruce Wayne let Wayne manor go to ruin? Why has BATMAN not figured out half the things Lex Luthor has before Lex did or at the very least at the same time? Why was Lex Luthor more like The Joker? Why was Doomsday so big/tall? Why is BATMAN so xenophobic/impulsive? Why is the Flash now Asian or was that Hispanic? Why is Aquaman a brunette? I'm guessing that Lex also knows who Bruce Wayne really is.

For the nerds, this movie made me think of the All Star Batman. http://io9.gizmodo.com/frank-miller-...s-a-1715010881

Jeff, should I take my boy or no?

Jeff, should I take my boy or no?

Originally Posted by porschephiliac

No. But only because he will be bored. My 12 year old thought it was dumb, and asked if he could have those 3 hours of his life back.

There isn't enough action until WELL into the movie to keep him engaged, and there isn't enough of a story to keep anyone engaged.

Like I said, I brought a supernerd, and non-comic nerd, and a child. No one liked it. It wasn't a "popcorn flick" to kill a few hours with. It wasn't a Michael Bay/JJ Abrams "Let's blow shit up continuously" flick. It was 2 hours of brooding to watch a 15 minute fight take 35 minutes.

Jeff, should I take my boy or no?

Originally Posted by porschephiliac

I would say don't from everything I have read and seen.

Jeff, should I take my boy or no?

Originally Posted by porschephiliac

Well my daughter is 11 and really wanted to see this she fell asleep half way into it, but I woke her up for the fight at the end and she was happy with it. Go to an early matinee or just wait for it on video.

I saw the movie and it was as bad as advertised. Plot makes no sense, Batman is the world's worst detective even though now he has the power to dream the future. Henry Cavill is insufferable as the strong, silent, brooding Superman. Affleck is not horrible as Batman and Wonder Woman gives me hope for the Wonder Woman movie. Snyder has no business directing another DC comics movie.

Apparently this film is so dark and grim that they are re-shooting Suicide Squad to add more humor.

Apparently this film is so dark and grim that they are re-shooting Suicide Squad to add more humor.

Originally Posted by LordChabelo13

No, the reshoot is (IMHO)100% tied to Deadpool.

No, the reshoot is (IMHO)100% tied to Deadpool.

Originally Posted by Dacoto

Seems plausible... You mean everything doesn't have to be dark, dire and gritty?

I will have to change my Aquaman script I proposed...